Wagamama's Ginger Chicken Udon or A Notable Correlation

So I suppose this is the part where I actually say stuff. I’ve done the introduction now, so let’s get down to business. The first thing I have to discuss with you is an interesting correlation I have noticed, which must be prefaced with two questions.

Firstly, do you prefer ninjas or pirates?

And secondly, do you prefer zombies or unicorns?

The first of these questions everybody has answered at some point. Maybe they were watching Pirates of the Caribbean and wondered what they were doing with their lives, working 9-5 when they could be out swashing and/or buckling. Perhaps they saw a ninja and… wait that’s not right, nobody has seen a ninja and lived to tell the tale.

I suppose you can tell which side I am on in this debate. I am firmly pro-ninja. They are masters of every combat discipline and faster than light. What’s more, they have purpose. My sister, however, is pro-pirate. She believes that it is acceptable to just bum around on a boat drinking rum and getting into piratey fights with anybody who looks at you funny.

However, a slightly lesser known contest to the world is that of zombie vs. unicorn. This is a question you have likely never answered in your life. But it is equally important. While the ninja-pirate debate is (for me) a question of purpose, the zombie-unicorn debate is of a more fantastical nature.

Consider the unicorn. A glorified cross breed between a horse and a narwhal, it has been romanticised by fantasy fictionists as a creature of immense beauty. But let’s be honest, it’s just a horse with an ice cream cone stuck to its face. And as a result of this it must have hideous brain freeze, thus making it a very stupid thing indeed.

Now, while zombies are generally considered as the enemy, please take a second to think. A zombie was once a person, just like you probably are right now. That person has died, and been horribly and painfully reanimated by your favourite choice of magic/virus plot device, and now has only one hope of continued existence: your brains. And is that really so much to ask? We only use 10% of them anyway.

But I digress. For this entry is not about why ninjas and zombies are better than pirates and unicorns. It is about a correlation I have noticed in recent years between the two questions: namely that those of us who are Team Ninja are far more likely to be Team Zombie.

I have done extensive research on the subject. I asked 6 people. 6 whole people! And I have yet to find anybody on Team Ninja who is on Team Unicorn. I’m not suggesting the converse: that those playing for Team Pirate also dabble in unicorn fancying. I have met many a counter-example for that point. But I have yet to be proven wrong in my hypothesis.

So I repeat my two questions of earlier. Ninjas or pirates? And zombies or unicorns?

For further reading on all four subjects I refer you to the following sources:

Ninjas: The Tales of the Otori series by Lian Hearn http://www.lianhearn.com/tales_of_the_otori.html

Pirates: A rousing debate on “why are pirates are better?” Need I say more? http://nerdfighters.ning.com/forum/topics/why-are-pirates-are-better?xg_source=activity

Zombies: An article by Simon Pegg (Team Zombie, who knew?) on the need for a return to classic zombie qualities in films http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/nov/04/television-simon-pegg-dead-set and Feed by Mira Grant http://www.thefeedbook.com/

Unicorns: What else but this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus